5 Things Parents Do to Keep Going During Hard Times

I have a friend I truly admire. When I met her, she was working 9 to 6, going to law school, coming home late to do homework with her 5-year-old daughter (if she was still awake), and doing all the cooking and house chores.

She’s an attorney now. And my idol.

Studies always look at elite athletes to study high performance. But I decided to look for advice from the real productivity gurus: parents.

Here are 5 things parents do to keep going during hard times.

1. Lower your standards for the things that are not important

“It’s okay if you don’t get the house cleaned, laundry done, or whatever else. You kept your favorite person in the world alive for the day! That’s a win.”

Stop trying to do everything. Set a bare minimum and be happy just keeping up with it. And don’t get caught up in what you didn’t do. Focus on what you actually managed to get done today:

“Sometimes you just have to say it’s more important to enjoy a walk in the park or a trip to McDonald’s play area for a junk dinner… instead of cooking dinner.”

2. Pay for help when possible

“Take some of the well-earned salary and hire some help. I can’t tell you how opposed I was when my partner insisted on having both a house cleaner (once a week) and yard maintenance. Now I am a true believer. It is money well spent.”

Think about what your time is worth and what you want to spend it on, and start delegating the rest:

“If you can afford to pay someone else to take mundane tasks off your plate, you’d be amazed at how freeing that feels.”

Paying for help doesn’t necessarily mean hiring someone full time. Even little things like only picking up your groceries or having them delivered can make a huge difference.

3. Don’t feel guilty

“The guilt can be incredibly draining if it takes hold. Sometimes I have to take a minute to remind myself that it’s okay to nap instead of clean the kitchen, or hire someone to do some yard work because I am realistically just not going to get to it.”

This matters even more if you’re an over-achiever: you don’t need to feel guilty for not doing everything the most efficient way possible.

And paying someone so you can take time for yourself is completely fine:

“Don’t feel guilty for relying on things you need to get through the week that other people might not do or need. Like if you need a nap, or need a cleaning lady, or have to get fast food. Using paper plates isn’t a character flaw. Prioritize what is most important and do the best you can.”

4. Prioritize recharging

“I remember getting to Friday and just being exhausted so we had a routine each Friday evening of ‘chilling Friday’. No chores, dinner ordered out and lots of lazing about. We slept in every Saturday.”

Take a break whenever you get the chance. There’s nothing more difficult than performing well when you’re sleep deprived, and parents know this better than anyone:

“Prioritizing sleep over basically everything else regularly, maximize sleep for each other by taking shifts if needed.”

5. Remember this is temporary

“This is the ‘running on the treadmill as fast as you can’ time of life. It gets better as the kids get older.”

When you’re going through a hard time, recognize this is a hard stage of life, but it’s also that. Just a stage:

“It does get better, much much better, particularly once you’re off chauffeur duty. And once they’re mostly out of your hair you’ll be astonished at how much more you can accomplish in your career.”

For better or worse, nothing lasts forever:

“In a few years when your kids are grown, you get to sleep in as late as you want and be as lazy as you want on your days off and feel good about it because you did it. You did the years and years of nonstop work, parenting, marriage and now you’ll get to rest and the best part is you get to be friends with the wonderful adults you raised. It’s totally worth it.”

Learn to cherish the moments. Even the difficult ones.